Shaping Words

Etheree Day 2012

2012-02-13T10:56:00.000-08:00

Etheree Day 2012

Today is February 13th. That makes it Etheree Day, a day set aside to celebrate the Etheree form. I think most of the people reading this blog will know by now the design of the Etheree. But for those who do not, it is a ten line form with the first line consisting of one syllable, the second line consisting of two syllables, the third of three, on up to the tenth line which consists of ten syllables. In other words, a ten line poem with the syllable count as follows: 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10. The total count is 55 syllables.

I have developed a lasting fondness for this form. I like the simplicity of it and the overall feel of the form. The Etheree resembles a bud slowly opening. Or the way an acquaintance develops into a friend; first there is a kind of hesitant getting to know the other person, then the conversation and feeling, after a time, flows more freely.

This year I have discovered that at times the energy of an Etheree I am working on propels me to continue composing past the tenth line. I’ve written a number of eleven-line Etheree as well as twelve-line Etheree. I still consider them to be Etheree; they are variations on the form like an eight or twelve syllable per line sonnet.

A friend of mine who sometimes composes Etheree told me she prefers the reverse Etheree which is also ten lines, but reverses the syllable count as follows: 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1. She likes the way the reverse Etheree gradually comes to a close.

Because the Etheree is so new (I believe it was launched either in the late 80’s or early 90’s) the Etheree lacks the weight of tradition behind it. This allows people to experiment with the form rather freely without feeling that they are challenging some kind of Etheree heritage. I know that for me I quickly became aware of that sense of esthetic freedom with the Etheree form. I mean that there is not at this time any great Etheree Master that looms over the form. And there is no American Etheree Association advocating for a specific approach to the form. The Etheree is still too new for that.

I’ve discovered several things writing Etheree. The first is how endrhyme in Etheree has a unique effect. Because each line is one syllable longer than the previous line, end rhyme in Etheree don’t fall quite where the listener would routinely expect it, yet the endrhyme is close enough to be effective and to feel strongly like a traditional endrhyme. A series of 3, 4, or 5 lines with a common endrhyme really pulls the Etheree along and gives the reader/listener a strong sonic clue as to the shape of the form.

I’ve also learned more about how the Etheree is an excellent form for painting a picture. The early lines of an Etheree are like single brush strokes on a canvas. The later lines are long enough to add more complete detail. The incompleteness of the early lines draws the reader into the poem and as the lines become longer and the picture more complete there is a kind of satisfaction at having the complete image finally revealed.

I think what I would like to focus more on is how the Etheree might incorporate a pivot line, or a shift, or juxtaposition. These are commonly used in Haiku and Tanka, but I notice that I have only rarely used them in Etheree. I suspect that they could find a place in the Etheree form.

In honor of Etheree day take some time to compose your own Etheree. I think you will enjoy it. Here’s a recent Etheree of mine:

Messenger

Gray
Morning
Late breakfast
At the café
I sit by myself
Looking out the window
At the busy parking lot
While old songs from the seventies
Bring to my mind a forgotten past –

A crow from the future lands on a fence

Gift River

2012-02-12T17:14:00.000-08:00

Grace
Faith
Kindness
Compassion
Received from the source
It is the end of all remorse
Like the plum that is blossoming in the winter snow
The heart slowly opens though surrounded by sin in the presence of this endless flow

Long Night

2012-02-10T08:18:00.001-08:00

Suddenly quiet
But for one schizophrenic --
The winter shelter

Winter Dawn

2012-02-10T07:26:00.001-08:00

There's not a cloud in the sky
The first frost is on the ground
Two crows are exchanging cries
Otherwise there's not a sound

The Latest

2012-02-09T07:29:00.001-08:00

"Inside the Scandel!" --
A discarded magazine
By the winter creek

Hermit Song

2012-02-08T10:23:00.000-08:00

Solitude is beautiful
Silence is a rare flower
Blossoms of eternity
Manifesting at each hour

Mirages Everywhere

2012-02-07T07:29:00.000-08:00

Dark
Light
The two
Or neither
The inbetween land
Like shapes briefly seen in the sand

Renga Ramblings 3

2012-02-06T14:31:00.000-08:00

Renga Ramblings 3

The Seven Topics of Renga

The second step in composing a solo renga is to know where to place the required seven topics. This, in turn, means being familiar with these topics. The renga poet needs to have these seven topics internalized; that is to say the renga poet needs to study them, how other poets use these topics, images that are associated with these topics, etc.

The seven topics of renga are: Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter (the four seasons), the Moon, Love, and Blossoms.

Every renga has these seven topics mentioned at least once (well, almost every renga; there are always exceptions, but stay with me here). When I say ‘mentioned’ I mean that at least one verse in a renga is devoted to each of these seven topics.

Why these seven? Part of the reason is historical. The early anthologies of Waka, now known as Tanka, were arranged by topic. All of the topics in renga are found in these anthologies. Each of the four seasons constitute chapters in these anthologies, as do Tanka on love. Moon verses feature prominently in these collections as well. And in the spring section there is extensive treatment of Waka focused on the blossoming of fruit trees; usually plum or cherry.

There is another reason and that has to do with ‘essence’. The four seasons (representing five required verses including the blossom verse), the unfolding of love, and the phases of the moon all have an underlying similarity of process. They all wax and wane and exhibit features found in all the other categories. There is, in other words, an underlying unity in these seemingly disparate topics.

The seven required topics collectively form a cosmology. The moon is a celestial appearance. The seasons are a manifestation of the earth. And love is, in many respects, the central human concern and preoccupation. Together, these seven topics embrace heaven, earth, and humanity. When these seven topics are included in a renga a full cosmology is displayed.

When I say that renga is a kind of cosmology I mean by that a poetic cosmology. Scientific cosmologies are analytical and in order to understand them you have to enter into abstractions. Philosophical cosmologies (say Whitehead’s ‘Process and Reality’) are also highly abstract and require knowledge of specialized vocabulary and how to follow inferential structures. Religious cosmologies are not as abstract as scientific or philosophical cosmologies and they are closer to a poetic cosmology. However, they tend to be embedded in a particular narrative and appeal to a specific set of believers (I say this as a believer myself, so that’s not a criticism).

A poetic cosmology is based on images rather than abstractions or narratives. Renga is a cosmology of images. The absence of a narrative structure in renga is one of its singular features. Such absence assists in entering into its cosmological nature. When I say renga is a poetic cosmology I mean that renga displays a cosmology rather than discussing a cosmology, or inferring a cosmology. Renga says ‘Look, the cosmos is like this’, and then gives us examples of the ‘like this’.

The seven topics of renga are the way that renga presents its cosmology and that is why they are so significant. To compose renga is to learn to see the world from the perspective of this understanding.

Different renga forms are distinguished by exactly where the specific topics are placed. For example, there are three 12-verse forms I know of and though the overall count of their verses is the same (12), the placement of the seven topics differs. Those beginning renga need to learn where the form they are interested in places these topics in order to construct a renga correctly. It is as necessary for the renga poet to know these placements as it is for the sonneteer to know the various rhyme schemes of the sonnet.

Fortunately, this information is readily available online. You can go to various sites devoted to renga (or renku, as it is often called), and find the form you are interested in. There you will find templates that detail where specific topics are placed for specific renga forms.

The variations in topic placement among different forms at first can be confusing. That’s why I think it is a good idea for the beginning solo renga poet to learn one of the 12-verse forms first. The 12-verse forms are a good way of learning how a form distributes the seven topics. Once you have got that settled, you can move on to other forms easily.

There is another way of distributing the topics and that is to use chance. Once again, the reader should note that this is eccentric and atypical. If you join in with a communal renga, this method will not be used. But if you are writing a solo renga it is an option. I have found it fruitful as the chance distribution of the topics creates placements that are challenging and sometimes illuminating as to the underlying essence of these topics.

If you are adventurous and want to use such an approach, I recommend using dice. Say you decide to write a 20 verse renga. Get a 20-sided die. Write down the seven topics on paper. The opening verse of every renga should reflect the season that one is in. Right now it is winter. So by ‘winter’ put ‘verse 1’. Now you have six topics left: spring, summer, fall, moon, love, and blossom. If you want to stay with most traditional layouts, the blossom verse will be the penultimate verse. So by ‘blossom’ put ‘verse 19’. Now you have five topics left: spring, summer, fall, moon, and love.

Take your 20-sided die and roll it. Say you come up with 16. Place by ‘spring’, ‘verse 16’. And continue on in this fashion.

Sometimes it is the case that you will get awkward juxtapositions or duplicates. If verse 16 is ‘spring’ and then when you roll for fall and get ‘16’ again, that won’t work. You can roll again. Or, I usually just move it two to five verses away; designating verse 11, for example, as the ‘fall’ verse.

Other duplicates, though, represent a challenge and should not necessarily be avoided. For example, if verse 16 is ‘spring’, and then when you roll the die for the ‘love’ verse you also get 16, I would keep that. When I reach verse 16 I will attempt a verse that is both a spring and a love verse. Or, again, I can move the love verse away, placing it elsewhere. Whichever you prefer.

Reading this I suspect it sounds complicated. But it isn’t any more complicated than, for example, laying out the repetitions and refrains for a villanelle or sestina. At the beginning I don’t recommend using dice as I described above. For beginners composing solo renga I recommend the 12-verse Shisan or Junicho. The topic placement is natural and comprehensible. It is an excellent place for the solo renga poet to start.

The first step for composing solo renga is to choose the length of the renga, the number of verses that the renga will contain. The second step is to distribute the seven topics (spring, summer, fall, winter, moon, love, and blossom) through the renga. For both aspects get to know the classic templates and proceeding will be easier. Once you have the length of the renga and the topic placement down you now have the scaffolding in place. Just like with a sestina or villanelle, which also require knowing the scaffolding of the form, this blueprint is there to mark your way. Think of it as a map you will you use as you work your way through the renga.

Renga Ramblings 2: The First Step

2012-02-02T09:31:00.000-08:00

Renga Ramblings 2

The First Step

When writing a solo renga the first step is to decide how long it should be, how many verses the renga should have. In the past this was not an issue. In Sogi’s day renga were almost always 100 verses long. Basho wrote 36 verse renga (as far as I know his renga are exclusively in this form; at least I haven’t heard of Basho engaging in any other lengths). The number of verses also is not usually an issue if you are composing communal renga; renga involving a group which is the usual way of composing renga. If you receive an invitation to join a renga group, the invitation almost always comes with the type of renga specified so that you know in advance how many verses the renga will be. If you are sending out invitations you will usually tell people you are looking for partners to compose a 12 verse, or 22 verse, or 36 verse form. But for solo renga the length is up to you and the length of the renga becomes your first decision.

These days there are numerous renga forms. The 12 verse forms are popular; there are at least three versions of 12 verse renga. Then there are 20 verse, 22 verse, 36 verse, and many others besides.

Partly I decide on the length based on how much time I want to spend on the renga. For example, it is possible for someone familiar with renga to compose a 12 verse renga in an hour or two. On the other hand, a 100 verse renga can take months. Sogi’s famous 100 verse renga, ‘Sogi Alone’, took four months to compose. When I decided to do a solo 100 verse renga, ‘100 Verses at Sebastopol’, it took me about four months as well. A 100 verse renga is a big commitment, but it is also highly rewarding. However, I don’t recommend it for those first starting out with renga.

For those new to renga and wanting to try their hand at solo renga, I recommend beginning with one of the 12 verse forms. The compactness of the form allows the poet to keep track of requirements like topical placement and repetition exclusions more easily than with longer forms. And like I said, once you are familiar with the overall renga form, a 12 verse version of renga can be done in a few hours.

Often I decide on the length by throwing dice or using an online random number generator. I know this will strike some as eccentric and it is. But using such an approach has given me an opportunity to compose renga of unfamiliar lengths; such as 13 or 19 verses. So if you feel adventurous, you can use such an approach as well. The big disadvantage of using this approach is that you won’t have templates to follow. I mean that if you are writing a 12 verse renga form you can go online and follow a template for a 12 verse form. In addition, you can read renga composed by others in this form which is a good way of learning how a particular form works. If you roll the dice and come up with 18 verses or 33 verses, this will mean being flexible and allowing yourself to adapt and incorporate renga structures from other more widely used forms. On the other hand, I have found using dice, or other random number mechanisms, offers an opportunity to create unique patterns of flow and connection. It’s up to you.

What has become apparent to me, after years of renga composition, is that renga can be any number of verses long. Practically speaking 12 verses seems to be the lower limit. (As a challenge to myself I once wrote an 8 verse renga, but I wouldn’t recommend it. It’s theoretically possible, but it is also crowded.) The 12 verse renga form is the practical lower limit because renga requires seven topics be distributed through the renga. And if one includes intervening verses between the required topical verses, 12 seems to be what is minimally necessary. (I’ll have more to say about these required topics in a future post.)

So, again, the first step in solo renga composition is to decide how many verses for this particular renga. The range is great: from 12 verses to 100. I suggest trying several different lengths. Start with a 12 verse form. Then try the 20 verse form. The 22 verse form is also excellent and it is surprising how just adding the two extra verses changes the flow of the renga from the 20 verse form. And there is the classic 36 verse form which Basho loved.

What I have observed is that after some familiarity with different verse lengths, people often feel attracted to a particular length-type. The 12 verse form has many virtues: conciseness, steady pace, and simplicity. I have a fondness for the 20 verse form: it allows for more development and its pace feels more leisurely to me. The 36 verse form also has the virtues of more time for development and more leisure.

So explore the various lengths. Eventually as a solo renga poet you will find the verse length which attracts you the most.

Crowds

2012-02-02T07:45:00.000-08:00

The dawn breaks swiftly,
Sunlight upon the cold ground,
After the long night

The first crew of the morning
At the insurance office

He makes three quick calls
To the girls he's been dating --
Saturday night plans

Strolling the paths of the park
Even in the steady heat

She waves to a friend
She hasn't seen since college,
They both have kids now

At the congested airport
Crowds are coming and going

Unnoticed fall leaves
Caught in the backpack straps
And the coat collar

Hiking in the wilderness
Under the November sky

Swiftly moving clouds
Casting shadows on the pond
A cautious deer drinks

The waxing first quarter moon
With Jupiter by its side

Seen through the branches
Of the blossoming plum tree
A neighbor's porch light

Traffic on the city streets
Slowly fades into silence

Silent Song

2012-01-29T07:03:00.000-08:00

See, the leaf is falling
From the old maple tree,
It is our God speaking
In the key of beauty.

Long View

2012-01-28T18:02:00.000-08:00

The morning birds were singing in stochastic cacaphony,
Maybe it was divine counterpoint, a cosmic symphony --
Somehow, all is calm from the perspective of eternity.

Artifact

2012-01-27T06:42:00.000-08:00

Roads
Sidewalks
Bare branches
Wet from the rain
Leaning on the fence
An abandoned shovel
Grass growing high around it
Left behind after some project
Or perhaps someone called them away
And they thought they'd finish some other day

The Haiku of James Hackett

2012-01-26T11:47:00.000-08:00

The Haiku of James W. Hackett

James Hackett was one of the earliest westerners to produce a body of Haiku. Along with Richard Wright, Hackett’s work has exerted a steady influence on subsequent English language Haiku poets.

The similarities with Wright are, to my mind, intriguing. Both Wright and Hackett were strongly influenced by the work of R. H. Blyth. Hackett first became interested in Haiku through Blyth’s early anthologies and essays on Haiku. Hackett would eventually engage in a correspondence with Blyth. Wright was first introduced to Haiku when he was living in self-imposed exile in France. A friend of Wright’s gave him a collection of Blyth’s writings and they so gripped Wright that Wright soon began writing down Haiku in a notebook which he carried with him everywhere.

Another intriguing similarity about Wright and Hackett is that they both took the 5/7/5 syllabic format for Haiku in English. It is an exaggeration to say that they never deviate from this count; but in both cases the syllabic count is clearly at the center of their understanding of Haiku. One of the reasons this is intriguing is that Blyth in his writings does not bring this out. Blyth’s translations are in free verse, with no commitment to a syllabic mimicking of the Japanese. In fact, in an early letter of Blyth to Hackett, Blyth openly criticizes Hackett for taking such a syllabic approach. Yet Hackett continued to write with this basic 5/7/5 approach.

Another similarity between the two Haiku poets is that they wrote outside of the mainstream Haiku organizations. As far as I know, Wright never connected with any Haiku organizations, magazines, or Haiku poets in America. If Wright had lived longer, he might have made such connections. But as Haiku occupied only the last eighteen months of his life, that did not happen. It is interesting to note that when Wright tried to get his Haiku published he did not go to Haiku poets for support, he simply submitted his work to his established publisher. (Wright’s Haiku were published posthumously many years after he died.)

Hackett’s case is a little more complicated. He started out, in the early 60’s being published in Haiku Journals. There followed, however, a rift the details of which are difficult to decipher. Hackett withdrew from any interaction with American Haiku groups or publications. With the exception of a few brief appearances and interviews, for long stretches of time, often more than a decade, he simply dropped out of site. Hackett, however, seems to have continued with his commitment to Haiku and poetry. His latest effort, Haiku of a Traveler, was published recently.

There are differences between Wright and Hackett. First is that Wright did not encounter Haiku until the very end of his life. Wright was by that time was a mature writer, had established himself in literary circles, and was widely admired. In contrast Hackett encountered Haiku at a young age, while living in San Francisco. Hackett built his literary reputation on his Haiku; later he would write longer poems as well, but it was Haiku which first attracted Hackett as a young man.

And there are cultural differences as well. Wright’s experience as a black man in America is the central theme in all of his work. This experience opened Wright to the worlds of the underclass and this is reflected in his Haiku where he composes Haiku sympathetically presenting the poor and, sometimes, the desperate. Hackett’s Haiku also reflect his life; but as far as I know Hackett never had the kind of searing social experiences that Wright had. For this reason, I think, Hackett’s Haiku tend to be more philosophical and contemplative, and more leisurely.

I find a distinguishing feature of Hackett’s Haiku to be this consciously philosophical tilt and a deep sense of religious commitment. Among English language Haiku poets, Hackett’s, it seems to me, are the most explicitly thoughtful. By ‘thoughtful’ I mean that they raise questions to ponder, or make comments from a philosophical perspective. Take, for example:

Within this hollow seed,
and all the time around it:
the shape of emptiness.

(Haiku Poetry: Vol. 1, page 27)

There are several things to note about this Haiku. It starts with an image: the hollow seed. This image is used as a jumping off place for reflection and thoughtful engagement. Hackett is using the concrete image to draw a universal, even ontological, conclusion.

The other thing I’d like to point out is the long count. Both L1 and L3 are six syllables. I’ve found that this is not unusual for Hackett; I mean that when Hackett deviates from 5/7/5 he is as likely to go for a longer than normal count as he is a shorter than normal count. The other thing to note is that both L1 and L3 are in iambic trimeter, while L2 has the same meter, with one added syllable, ‘it’. Is this conscious? I believe that it is. Hackett refers to his work as ‘Haiku Poetry’ and Hackett seems to be willing in his Haiku to make conscious use of poetic devices such as meter to craft his Haiku.

The consciously poetic nature of Hacket’s Haiku is illustrated by his most famous Haiku poem, one that has frequently appeared in Haiku anthologies:

A bitter morning:
sparrows sitting together
without any necks.

(Haiku Poetry Vol. One, page 12)

This is an excellent Haiku. It has the clear seasonal component, the focus on nature, and the clarity of observation that marks the best of Haiku. Interestingly this Haiku was first published in a shorter form as follows:

Bitter morning
sparrows sitting
without necks

In a recent two-part article in Frogpond (Part 1: http://www.hsa-haiku.org/frogpond/2010-issue33-1/essay.html , Part 2: http://www.hsa-haiku.org/frogpond/2010-issue33-2/essay.html ) states that the shorter version of this Haiku was published in 1963 in American Haiku. A few years later, Hackett published the long version for a Japan Airlines contest, which Hackett won. It is the longer version which has been anthologized.

This evolution tells us a lot about Hackett as a Haiku poet. First, it shows us that he is willing to revise and rework his Haiku. And he is willing to do this over a period of years.

It is intriguing to me that the author of the recent Frogpond article, Charles Trumbull, prefers the shorter version; Trumbull says that the shorter version is, in his opinion, ‘superior’. Trumbull’s view is consistent with the esthetic of official Haiku organizations. That esthetic is defined by an intense focus on minimalism. As I have mentioned in other posts, this minimalist esthetic is guided by the principle that ‘less is more’ and the fewer the words the better the Haiku.

Yet Hackett moved his Haiku in the opposite direction; instead of whittling away at his Haiku he added to it. Let’s look at it line by line.

The second version is, in my view, more natural, more lyrical, and flows more smoothly, has a better rhythm. In Line 1 Hackett added the indefinite article ‘a’ and the punctuation at the end of the line ‘:’. Adding the article makes the line read more like normal English. The original is reads like a telegraph or like pidgin English.

In Line 2 Hackett adds the word ‘together’. From the minimalist perspective of official Haiku ‘together’ is redundant and should be removed. But normal speech is full of redundancies. And in a sense the word ‘together’ draws attention to a feature of the scene which is not explicit in the original. In the first version the sparrows are not necessarily huddled together. In the revision the word ‘together’ draws our attention to how the cold morning is affecting the behavior of the sparrows. This little detail, though slightly redundant, makes the Haiku more specific and complete.

In Line 3 Hackett adds the word ‘any’. Again, ‘any’ is redundant from the perspective of minimalism and the esthetic promoted by official Haiku organizations. The use of ‘any’, though, makes the line more natural; that is how English speakers normally speak. People do not normally speak in a minimalist version of English.

This is one of the big divides between Syllabic Haiku and Official Haiku. Syllabic Haiku does not start from a minimalist esthetic. The Haiku of Richard Wright, James Hackett, Susan August, and many others, flow in a normal English usage; as if the Haiku form was a native English language form. There is a feeling when reading their Haiku that normal everyday English is suitable for Haiku. In contrast, official Haiku, with its minimalist stance, has produced short-form Haiku that project an artificial English, one that is so stripped of its normal elements that at times it is difficult to follow.

Interestingly, Hackett is one of the few Haiku authors who has taken an explicit stance against a minimalist approach to Haiku. In the essay ‘Haiku Form’ Hackett wrote:

“I for one find it more than sad to witness the crude obscurantist effect that an over-emphasis upon concision has had upon the creation of some haiku in the United States. Brevity per se does not make a haiku! . . . As one who believes haiku in English can be poetry, I deplore the corrosive effect of what I term minimalism – or telegraphic usage – in our haiku.”

These are strong words. In a sense I don’t think they are fully justified. My own view is that Syllabic Haiku and Free Verse Haiku (aka Short Form Haiku, or Official Haiku) have become different forms of poetry. They have a common ancestor, and they both think of themselves as Haiku; but over time they have grown farther and farther apart. I think the time has come to recognize this as my suspicion is that they will only become even further removed from each other as the years continue to pass.

On the other hand, I understand Hackett’s reaction. As an early practitioner of Haiku in the English speaking world he found that his basic approach was being abandoned by official Haiku organizations. It wasn’t only that Official Haiku was abandoning the syllabic approach, they were, and are, arguing that it is wrong to take that approach. It is only natural that Hackett would respond defensively.

Returning to the overview of Hackett’s work, I think that Hackett continues to be a fine resource for those poets wanting to take a syllabic approach to Haiku. His thoughtful, consciously poetic, craft-like approach to Haiku is, I think, something to be emulated. His commitment to syllabics enriches those who wish to follow a similar approach.

Personally, I would like to see Hackett’s Haiku reprinted. In particular, his four volume series, published in the 60’s, needs to become, once again, more broadly available. Hackett’s Haiku contain elements not found in other Haiku poets such as thoughtfulness, philosophical reflection, a sense of rhythm, and a lyrical flow. I think the time has come to put Hackett back into the foreground as one of the first Haiku poets in English and, more importantly, as a fine poet.

An abandoned book . . .
skimming through its pages,
breezes from the sea.

Beyond this mountain,
so vast as to strain the eye:
a world of autumn.

(Haiku Poetry Vol. 4)

**

Note: Hackett’s essays on poetry and other topics are available at www.haketthaiku.com -- Warning: navigation of this site is frustratingly difficult. The layout is counterintuitive. But there are some real nuggets of insight on many of the pages.

Caught In The Cave

2012-01-26T08:21:00.000-08:00

Waves of mountains in the distance
Next to the slate still ocean shore
Stalagmites of oppressive thoughts
Resemble a thick iron door

Syllabic Tanka Day 2012

2012-01-22T04:26:00.000-08:00

Today is syllabic Tanka day. It is a day set aside to honor those poets writing syllabic Tanka in English. Syllabic Tanka means Tanka that follow the traditional syllable count of 5-7-5-7-7; a total of thirty-one syllables which mimics the traditional syllabic structure of the original Japanese.

Tanka has a written history of about 1400 years. The first written Tanka appears in the Kojiki, the ancient cycle of legends that tell of the origins of the Japanese people. Ever since then Japanese poets have taken to the Tanka form. Over its 1400 years of written history the syllable count has remained the same. Techniques have changed, modes of constructing the lines have had their day, topics have been dwelled on and new ones added, but the form has remained the same for all this time. That is something truly remarkable.

Tanka has come to English language poets only recently. Even though Tanka is much older than Haiku, it is less well-known outside of Japan. But there are poets who have taken to the form. Here is an example from George Knox:

Red-tailed hawk flying
From tee to tree for days now
Making such shrill cries . . .
I’m hearing it in my dreams
And I read they mate for life

(From the Tanka Anthology, “Wind Five Folded”, edited by Jane and Werner Reichhold, page 98)

I admire the way Knox takes us on a journey through three realms. The first is the realm of nature: the red-tailed hawk and its cry-filled flight. The second is the world of dreams. And the third is the world of human culture: “I read . . .” meaning the world of books. That’s a lot to encompass in just three lines, yet Knox does this deftly.

Knox focuses on a traditional Tanka topic; love and separation from a loved one. In traditional Tanka anthologies this topic is treated extensively. But in traditional Tanka this is almost always about human affection and humans parting from each other or otherwise being separated (due to official duties, due to love of another, or due to death). Knox sees this topic in nature and thereby contributes a different perspective, or rather broadens our perspective on the pain that separation can bring.

Here’s a second Tanka from the poet Yeshaya Rotbard:

The Night

A stillness so still,
No blade, leaf, to twitch or lift,
Just a cricket’s trill,
Not enough to move the air,
But enough to stop and stare.

(“The Calligraphy of Clouds” by Yeshaya Rotbard, page 104)

Rotbard titles his Tanka which is unusual for Tanka poets. But it is consistent with western poetic tradition and it is, I think, a valid option. Notice that the title is a genuine title in the sense that it gives us added information; we wouldn’t know that this is a night scene by just reading the Tanka itself. In a way, one can think of a title for a Tanka as a sixth line of undetermined length.

Notice also how Rotbard incorporates rhyme into the Tanka form. Rhyme is not used in Japanese poetry. But it is a significant element of English language poetry and song and many of Rotbard’s Tanka incorporate rhyme. Rotbard’s use of rhyme give his Tanka the feel of a folk song. Notice how the closing couplet, with its parallel construction, and its regular rhythm, its 3 + 4 construction, has a musical, melodic, feeling to it.

I admire the simplicity of this Tanka. It is a simple nocturnal landscape, but is amazingly spare in details. Most of the information is negative; the leaves and grass are not moving. The one piece of positive information is the sound of the crickets, a kind of energized silence. I think all of us can enter into this Tanka because this experience of stillness is something is something all of us have experienced. By leaving out too much detail, Rotbard allows us all to enter into this Tanka. It draws us in as we finish the scene based on our own lives and experiences.

Tanka is still making its way in the west. It is a rich and rewarding form. Slowly, a body of syllabic Tanka is being built in the English language.

Winterscape

2012-01-19T06:36:00.000-08:00

The rural dirt road --
There's a little bit of frost
On the shaded side

Graveside

2012-01-18T03:49:00.000-08:00

The first light of dawn,
Mars and Venus share the sky
On this cold morning

Distant clouds catch the sunlight
Slowly shifting shades of orange

As the sun declines
And touches the ocean's edge
She feels calm, at ease

Her husband recently died
Fighting a faraway war

Cherry blossoms fall
On the graveside offerings
A mouse sneaks a snack

Insurance rates keep climbing
As he ages with the years

The weed filled garden
And hedges need cutting back
And the trees pruning

A cascade of meteors
Across the hot July sky

At three-quarters full
The light of the waxing moon
Guides us to our dreams

The March wind scatters the leaves
Announcing autumn's presence

Starting a new job
(It's his third one in five years)
He feels unprepared

"Don't worry," she says fondly.
"You'll do fine. It's time to go."

New Comments Format

2012-01-17T08:08:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends:

I was continuing to have problems responding to comments; in fact the problem got a little worse. I tracked down through a Google Forum that they were aware of the problem. In the meantime they recommended that I switch to a pop-up box format for comments. I have switched over to this format and was able to respond to a comment. So hopefully this will be a working solution. For those who have commented before be aware that the format is now slightly different than before.

Thanks for your patience,

Jim

Renga Ramblings 1

2012-01-16T11:00:00.000-08:00

Renga Ramblings 1

Renga is my favorite form of poetry. And over the years people have, now and then, asked me if I would teach a class in renga. Recently, several people have made this request.

I have often thought about this. There are several reasons why I hesitate to teach renga. First, to be honest, I don’t know how to do it. Renga is a complicated form and writing renga means keeping a lot of different formal requirements in mind. Consider that traditional manuals of renga are quite lengthy. I think that is why traditionally renga composition was led by a renga master. A renga master is someone who has composed renga over many years and internalized the many rules so that they can guide the renga composition in accordance with the handed down tradition. In other words, it takes time to learn renga; it is a lengthy process. The best way to learn renga is to hang around others who are composing renga.

Another reason I have backed away from requests to teach is that I am aware that my approach to renga differs significantly from what people will find among most renga poets in the west today. For example, I take a syllabic approach to renga verse construction while most renga poets take a free verse approach to lineation. I tend to treat traditional Saijiki lightly, in contrast I have found that many who are interested in renga have a fairly strong commitment to traditional Saijiki. I have separated and sifted out words that designate time from words that designate season, which is an approach that, as far as I know, is unique with me.

Finally, my source of inspiration for renga is the renga master Sogi, as opposed to Basho. How much of a difference does that make? Well, the biggest difference for me is that I find Sogi to be more tolerant of links based on sensation whereas Basho is much more interested in links based on ‘scent’. To my mind, Sogi’s linkage is tighter, clearer, and more considerate of the reader than Basho’s style of scent-based linkage. Don’t take this too strongly; I love Basho’s renga and I encourage people to study them. It’s just that the influence of Sogi on my own writing leads me to accept more explicit linkage than, I suspect, Basho would favor.

And perhaps most significantly, my focus with renga is on solo renga rather than group composition. Again, this is the influence of Sogi upon my own renga composition. For me the renga ‘Sogi Alone’ is the pinnacle, the uber-renga if you will. ‘Sogi Alone’ is a solo hyakuin (100 verse) renga that Sogi wrote towards the end of his life. It is the renga that I value most highly. It is a steady source of inspiration for me; not only in renga but in poetry in general. Because of this the vast majority of my efforts have been in the solo renga form.

The thing is, if I taught renga it would be based on my own procedures as developed over decades of interest. However, if someone listened to me regarding renga composition, and then sought to join with others based on what I do, they would find themselves out of sync with what the others are doing and how they approach renga composition. I don’t want to place people in that kind of awkward situation.

On the other hand, people have asked. As a kind of compromise, I thought about posting some personal observations on renga, how I go about it, suggestions I may have, little things I have learned over time, and procedures I use. These would be informal notes, what I call renga ramblings, in no particular order. Perhaps this may prove useful to those who are interested. Having thought about this for some time, I plan on posting an occasional ‘Renga Rambling’. In that way when people ask me about how to compose a renga, I can point them to these loose thoughts.

Blogspot Glitch

2012-01-16T07:52:00.000-08:00

Friends:

I'm not sure what has happened, but I find myself unable to respond to posters' comments. When I click on respond, it takes me to all white screen instead of the usual response box. That's why I've neglected to respond to comments. I'm sure it will be fixed soon.

Thanks for your patience,

Jim

Cityscape

2012-01-13T13:39:00.001-08:00

"You should reconsider,"
Said the bum in the alley
To the garbage can

Not Quite Ready

2012-01-13T10:48:00.000-08:00

Time
Moving
Ceaselessly
I get older
I number my days
The days that I have left
Become fewer and fewer

There is beauty in the sunset
And peace in faces I won't forget --

Eternity beckons and yet, and yet . . .

Signs

2012-01-11T06:52:00.000-08:00

On the wooden fence
Snow has accumulated
During the long night

Guardian angels stand watch
Over all of the gardens

The smell of blossoms
From the numerous cherry trees,
Incense for the cosmos

Placed upon the boulder's moss
The light of the Aries sun

"I like what you've done
With your garden and your house.
It took a long time."

Fallen leaves form a design
That is hard to decipher

He tried to augur,
Using the Book of Changes,
What he should do next

"Have you ever felt perplexed,
So you had nothing to say?"

She puts it away,
The letter from her lover
Says that they are through

There's a saying that is true --
All meetings end in parting

It is comforting
On a warm summer evening
To pause and recall

The rising full moon enthralls
Us with its light and shadows

First Day Poem

2012-01-08T07:18:00.000-08:00

Sky
Low clouds
A slight wind
A cool morning
There's not much traffic
On Sunday it's quiet,
Before I go to Meeting
I stop by the local cafe
For some good coffee to start my day --
The barrista is proud of her figure,
We have known each other for a lot of years,
We check in with each other on our hopes and fears,
Then I sit down at a table and sip my coffee,
Conversing with some strangers before I go on my way.

Field of Time

2012-01-06T14:13:00.000-08:00

Cold
Winter
The First Month
Holiday cheer
Starts to disappear
Gifts have been put away
Routines have resumed their place
Schedules have a more steady pace
The children have returned to their schools
With brand new clothes so that they can feel cool
Slowly Neptune traverses ecliptic space
A desert rabbit gazes fondly at the moon
A widow in a church senses the presence of grace

Winter Weekend

2012-01-06T10:50:00.000-08:00

Blue sky
Cold day
Strong wind
Kids play

The Morning Fix (It's OK, It's Legal)

2012-01-05T07:45:00.000-08:00

The line at Starbuck's Cafe
Waits patiently for caffeine,
It comes in various forms;
Coffee or tea (black or green)

Last Round

2012-01-04T11:00:00.001-08:00

Darkness falls thickly
On the nearly empty street
Some stragglers stagger
After the last round of drinks,
Going their separate ways

Bleak

2012-01-02T07:55:00.000-08:00

The depths of winter
Even in the afternoon
The tenacious frost
Your total lack of empathy
In all the rooms of the house

Winter Sweater

2012-01-01T07:36:00.000-08:00

The winter sweater
And the January cold
And a few blankets

A new boyfriend for dinner;
Maybe he's the one I'll love

The far-away stars,
Are they so indifferent?,
Do they shine for us?

The bar's Saturday line dance;
Clap, stomp and turn to the beat

Harvesting the grapes
There's the rush before the crush
And anxious owners

The warm October sunrise
Kids getting ready for school

Sparrows in the grass,
At the sight of a shadow,
Hide in the hedges

A pause in the silent house
As she soaks in the quiet

The window rattles
But just for a few seconds
A sudden May wind

The branches filter the light
Of a moon that's nearly full

"What was the question?"
The t.v. is much too loud
For conversation

Hidden behind the garage
Cascading lilacs bloom

Dispersing Envy

2011-12-21T07:33:00.000-08:00

A quiet morning
December stillness and cold
Fog upon the snow

Looking out the kitchen window
With her cup of breakfast tea

Some vitamin C
And some other supplements
Taken at each meal

He has begun to feel
That they are growing apart

With the wind they start
To scatter and disappear --
Apple blossoms fall

Outside of the new mall
Teenagers are gathering

The light of evening
Just after the sun has set
Lingers with the heat

The novice on her retreat
Recites the prayers for the Hour

There is a power
Silent and unobtrusive
Deep within the heart

"Let me help you with your cart,
That looks awfully heavy."

Dispersing envy
Through common acts of kindness
Recall where we are

With bare branches and the stars
The half-full October moon

As Night Begins

2011-12-14T16:46:00.000-08:00

Dusk
Slow
Days end
At the store
I turn out the lights
I make sure that I lock the door

A Vision

2011-12-14T09:53:00.000-08:00

Melodies fall from the clouds
Streams of stars flow through the glen
On a branch of the oak tree
There's an angel now and then

Nightscape

2011-12-12T07:51:00.000-08:00

The pine tree waltzes
Beside the granite still pond
The warmth of starlight

The End Of Idolatry

2011-12-11T06:53:00.000-08:00

Brief
The lives
Of nations;
They don't survive
(Though they try and strive)
The ravages of time.
Nations are not a refuge,
They turn into dust and refuse,
Shards placed under a museum's dome;
Only the eternal is our true home.

Heartscape

2011-12-10T18:09:00.000-08:00

Warm days in winter
The sky is cloudless
I begin to pray
God's love is boundless

Dawnscape

2011-12-09T12:49:00.000-08:00

Cool
Thin clouds
5 A.M.
A bright full moon
Slowly descending --
The first hint of sunlight
Pales the few remaining stars
In an hour the moon will be gone
Like the moments of this silent dawn
Like the last notes of a solo flute's song

Intersection

2011-12-08T12:55:00.000-08:00

The silent traffic
Crossing the polluted stream
Herds of ghost mammoths

A Message From Far Away

2011-12-07T10:54:00.000-08:00

Blues
Guitar
Melody
The soaring voice
Caresses a note
Turning it in the air
Like catching a ray of sun
As it mingles with a warm wind
Whose origin is a distant land
Located somewhere south of memory

On Impermanence

2011-12-06T15:33:00.000-08:00

This
Will fade
Ev'rything
Will disappear
Like all that you hear,
Like the sound of a bell,
A receding ocean swell,
A story that you once heard tell,
The last remnants of a tree that fell,
Or an old fear that is finally quelled,
Shattered when touched by the omnipresent spell
Cast upon the currents of the rivering world

Overwhelmed

2011-12-05T14:05:00.000-08:00

Life is more complicated ev'ry day,
I do not understand why this is so
And though I try and try to simplify
Duties accumulate like drifts of snow

Why I Go To Meeting For Worship Every First Day (aka Sunday)

2011-12-04T15:24:00.000-08:00

I forget
About God
In this world
God seems odd

After Receiving The News

2011-12-04T14:13:00.000-08:00

In war
He died
Somewhere
She cries

Bitter

2011-12-03T14:19:00.001-08:00

After all these years
You say you want to 'make up' --
The winter silence

Axiom

2011-12-02T18:38:00.000-08:00

The sun rises late,
The days are brief, the air cold,
The solstice draws near

Hanukkah candles for sale
On display at the bookstore

There are more and more
Cards for every occsion
For all of our needs

A thought resembles a seed
In the garden of the heart

Plum blossoms restart
The cycle of the seasons
The cycle of time

Searching for the perfect rhyme
To mark the line and rhythm

The new axiom --
The professor finds its place
In the house of thought

All this work is not for naught
If we can share our journey

"You're good company,
Let's spend more time together,
After summer's through."

A correspondence ensues
Via nightly emails

As the moon sails,
Pacing its monthly phases,
Its light ebbs and grows

Autumn tells us what we know;
Space is vast and deep and kind

Oops!

2011-12-02T18:31:00.001-08:00

Dear Friends:

I had alredy posted 'Afternoon' earlier this year. Sorry about that.

So I'm following up with another Renga for your reading pleasure titled 'Axiom'.

Thanks,

Jim

Neal Henry Lawrence Day

2011-11-03T07:44:00.000-07:00

Good Morning:

Another year has gone by and it is again the anniversary of Neal Henry Lawrence: born January 22, 1908, died November 3, 2004. Lawrence lead a remarkable life. During his 96 years he was a business man, fought in W.W. II, became a monk, and a Tanka poet. As far as I know he was the first American born Tanka poet to produce a substantial body of work. Four of his Tanka collections were published during his life. 'Shining Moments' is still in print, while his others are available via Amazon now and then at not too high prices.

Lawrence set a precedent for a syllabic approach to Tanka. All his Tanka are in the 5-7-5-7-7 form, the form that this type of poem has followed for over 1400 years. His work is remarkably varied, covering topics from the traditional seasonal poems, to religion, to politics. Here is one of his Tanka that I suspect conveys something of his personal life as a monk:

The abbey bell rings
Tolling life's passing moments
Of joy and sorrow,
Of time for meditation
And to say the rosary.

I think the best way to celebrate this day would be to compose a syllabic Tanka. And perhaps to take up, once again, one of Lawrence's books. I always find them worth rereading.

Best wishes,

Jim

Popular Haiku

2011-10-24T16:59:00.000-07:00

One way of understanding how well a new poetic form is taking root in a culture is to look at its popularity. That is to say, is the poetic form part of the consciousness of ordinary people. For example, when the Sonnet was first transmitted to England it landed at court and for a while was the exclusive preserve of court, or court-connected, poets. After a generation or two, though, the Sonnet spread and became part of the fabric of English poetry so that one found Sonnets being composed by all classes of people.

From this perspective I think it is instructive to look at how popular culture in the U.S. has accepted Haiku. The most popular books of Haiku, the ones that sell a lot and are republished, the ones that are sometimes published by major publishers, are found at the level of popular culture. I distinguish two types of popular Haiku. The first type is Haiku Humor and consists of books that deliberately make fun of their subject. The second type I think of as Topical Haiku and consists of books on a specific topic, such as gardening, or old age, or cats, horses, dogs, children, etc. There is a lot of overlap between the two groups, but some of the Topical Haiku do not have a humorous intent.

Collectively these collections share certain characteristics. First, overwhelmingly Popular Haiku takes a syllabic approach to Haiku. The best-selling books of Popular Haiku, such as ‘Haiku for Jews’ or ‘Redneck Haiku: Double-Wide Edition’, are all syllabic in construction. That is to say they take the 5-7-5 syllable count as their starting point in composing their Haiku. This contrasts with the Haiku written by official Haiku Societies in the U.S. which take a free verse approach to Haiku. This contrast is striking and demonstrates to me that at the popular level Haiku is understood by most Americans to be a syllabic form of poetry that resembles other syllabic forms such as the Crapsey Cinquain or the Fibonacci. For Popular Haiku, syllabic count is central and the offerings of Popular Haiku are far from the free verse norms that pervade academic poetry in general and official Haiku Societies specifically.

I think this aspect of Popular Haiku is underappreciated. One sometimes hears that five syllable and seven syllable lines are ‘unnatural’ for the English language. This is often put forth as one justification for modifying the Japanese syllable count in English language Haiku. Popular Haiku, simply by its commitment to a traditional syllabic approach, undermines this kind of assertion. It would be difficult to maintain that five and seven syllable lines are not an intimate part of the English language after a few volumes of Popular Haiku.

The second characteristic I find in many of these works is what I would call an ‘in-your-face’ attitude. Sometimes crass (see ‘FU Haiku’), at times even gross (see ‘Zombie Haiku’), Popular Haiku often focuses on the aspects of our lives that are overlooked by the more consciously poetic. The tone of most of these volumes that I have read is not subtle; there is no attempt, for example, for the author to disappear. In fact, the opposite is often the case with the author stepping right in and making comments, judgments, and remarks about the chosen topic. And there is a kind of ‘so there!’ tone to much of it. I don’t mean that I, or the general reader, will take offense. It’s more that the authors of these books don’t really care to not be present and are completely comfortable letting you know what they think. This contrasts with the esthetic of authorial objectivity which is often held to be an ideal of traditional Haiku.

The third characteristic is simply that these volumes seek to appeal to a broad audience. This is obvious by my descriptive use of ‘Popular Haiku’, but it is still worth noting. Years ago when ‘Haiku for Jews’ was first published I was working in a small independent bookstore. The owner ordered this from the publisher and it arrived complete with a little display case so that you could place the book on the counter right next to the cash register. ‘Redneck Haiku’ has taken the same approach as have others in the field of what I call Popular Haiku. In other words, the target audience of Popular Haiku is not primarily poets, not even Haiku poets. I get the impression that the publishers of Popular Haiku would actually prefer that their works not be placed in the poetry section of a bookstore. Rather, they are targeting the impulse buyer primarily, and secondarily those who enjoy good humor and a quick read. Many of these works would be better placed in the humor section, or perhaps the religion section (e.g. ‘Haiku for Jews’ or ‘Episcopal Haiku’), or the movie section (e.g. ‘Vampire Haiku’), than they would in the poetry section of a bookstore.

A fourth characteristic is the vernacular use of English. I have observed that for the most part Popular Haiku is written in vernacular English, complete with articles and typical parts of speech. The feeling I get when reading Popular Haiku is that of overhearing a conversation, of actual English speech. This contrasts with the style of English used in Official Haiku which cultivates a kind of English that lacks articles, prepositions, modifiers: I sometimes refer to this kind of English as Haiku Hybrid English or HHE for short. It is a very strange type of English, but in the right hands is effective. Popular Haiku ignores HHE and writes in what is clearly an ordinary, colloquial, easily understandable English. Depending on the topic, the English used in Popular Haiku often reflects the sub-culture that is the focus. ‘Haikus for Jews’ and ‘Redneck Haiku’ both use the relevant syntax of the group they are focusing on. And there are many other examples.

The fifth aspect of Popular Haiku is another contrast with Official Haiku: That is that Popular Haiku is not minimalist. This is a function of its vernacular usage. Ordinary English, ordinary language, is filled with repetitions, redundancies, and what I call ‘start-overs’. In contrast, Official Haiku has a commitment to a minimalist presentation which seeks to do away with repetitions and redundancies. The governing ideal in Official Haiku is ‘less is more’ and the fewer syllables used the better. That is not an esthetic one finds in Popular Haiku.

A sixth characteristic is that the authors of Popular Haiku, for the most part, seem unconcerned about traditional aspects of Haiku composition other than the syllabic count. The seasonal component, for example, is often not present. I have noticed, however, that some authors of Popular Haiku do manage to incorporate the seasonal element, though it is not always clear if this was a conscious decision based on traditional Haiku, or simply a reflection of Popular Culture itself. For example, if a Haiku in a work of Popular Haiku mentions Thanksgiving or the Fourth of July, those are both seasonal references, but they are also a pervasive part of American Popular Culture. My gut feeling is that these seasonal references arise more from the field of popular culture rather than from an attempt to incorporate traditional Haiku elements. But I’d be happy to be wrong about that.

Another aspect of the unconcern about many traditional aspects of Haiku is that in Japan many of these works would be thought of as Senryu rather than Haiku. But for Popular Haiku authors the distinction between the two has vanished. For Popular Haiku authors Haiku has become, in an American cultural context, a syllabic form consisting of three lines of seventeen syllables distributed as 5-7-5. For Popular Haiku, if a poem has this form then it is a Haiku.

I think there is much to be said for this point of view. For one thing, it defines the form in objective terms. A lot of Haiku discussions I have read, and participated in, revolve around ethereal esthetic issues; that is to say whether or not the Haiku is ‘indirect’ enough, or ‘objective’ enough, etc. These kinds of issues are then used to determine whether or not something is a Haiku. But I think that is a mistaken approach and often leads down blind alleys. If a Haiku is defined formally, through syllable count and lineation, then one can accept what is written as part of the form.

There is one aspect of traditional Haiku which Popular Haiku in America has latched onto: the Aha Moment. The turn, or juxtaposition, the insight brought about by the coalescing of disparate elements so beloved by Haiku Poets is surprisingly close to what happens in humor. So I can see why Haiku has attracted humorists. The difference is that for the traditional Haiku poet the juxtaposition of elements has a more contemplative function. In Popular Haiku the juxtaposition of elements is meant to surprise and delight the reader resulting in a humorous response, what we commonly call the ‘punch line’.

The quality of Popular Haiku, as one would expect, varies. If I were forced to pick a single work as the best representative of Popular Haiku I would choose ‘Redneck Haiku: Double Wide Edition’ by Mary K. Witte. First, it is very funny. Second, because of the excellent humor you can re-read it. Third, it focuses on an aspect of American culture that is significant, but doesn’t get much coverage. The characters, who thread their way through the Haiku, are what are often called ‘trailer trash’ and the concerns, inclinations, habits and hopes of this part of America. There is an intimate familiarity on the part of the author with these people. I found myself growing fond of Wanda and Bubba as I read through the collection. The author has an eye for the ordinary:

Fried chicken, biscuits,
mashed potatoes with gravy.
Perfect summer meal.

But she also has a good grasp of the emotions of the people she’s describing:

RV at Wal-Mart:
Shopping while just passing through
or putting down roots?

This is a good description of the rootlessness and wandering that trailer culture in America often embodies.
And, of course, there is excellent humor:

Moonshine, shotgun shells,
Wild Turkey and motor oil.
Christmas shopping done.

The emergence of popular Haiku signals that Haiku has entered the mainstream of American poetry and has become an indigenous form. That is to say that syllabic Haiku have become a part of American poetry. I think it is all to the good and shows Haiku taking on a life of its own, demonstrating that the transplant has indeed taken root on foreign soil.

In closing, here are a few examples of Popular Haiku I recommend:

Redneck Haiku: Double-Wide Edition
Mary K. Witte
1595800077
$11.99

Haikus for Jews
David M. Bader
060960502X
$11.95

Episcopal Haiku
Sarah Goodyear and Ed Weissman
9781596270794
10.00

Vampire Haiku
Ryan Mecum
1600617727
$9.99
Note: Mecum has also written ‘Werewolf Haiku’ (my personal choice) and ‘Zombie Haiku’. Warning, Mecum is true to his chosen topic of horror movies and some people I’ve shown these to have found some of them gross. Personally, I thought they were funny; but maybe that shows what a sick sense of humor I have.

Haikus for Punsters
(Note the English plural!)
Paul Treatman
9780595392711
$14.95
Note: Side splittingly funny. Treatman has published five (yes, Five!) volumes of puns in Haiku form. But be warned: he published only a single Haiku on each page. If he had tripled up, all five volumes could be sold as one. Still, at the bookstore I work at I’ve sold quite a few complete sets and customers have come back saying they were satisfied.

Office Haiku
James Rogauskas
9780311232486
$6.95

Spam-Ku
John Chu
0060952784
$5.99

Guyku: A Year of Haiku for Boys
Bob Raczka
978-0547240039
$14.99
Note: More traditional than most Popular Haiku books, this one covers all the seasons but shares the Popular Haiku use of colloquial English and more down to earth themes. It is written as an Introduction to Haiku for young boys.

There are Haiku for Dogs (and even for specific breeds), Cats, Horses, for butchers, bakers and candlestick makers. If you go to Amazon just put in ‘Haiku’ and see what pops up. It’s a great exploration and you will be pleasantly surprised at the wide range of topics that American poets have put into Haiku form.

Bridge

2011-10-17T14:36:00.000-07:00

Golden poplar leaves
Bright in the light of sunrise
In my neighbor's yard

New statues of ducks and quail
Clustered around the front door

Snails are hiding
Underneath the wooden steps
A long lost letter

"Let's talk about this some more,
Bring it out in the open."

Slipping on the ice
The small car comes to a stop
Next to a parked truck

"I can't rely on you,"
She returns the ring he gave her

The office lobby
Sun pouring in the windows
And afternoon heat

Next to the espresso stand
Six or seven apple trees

A few petals fall
On the coats of passersby
They don't seem to mind

The full moon between some clouds
Traversing the Aries sky

His recurring dream,
One that he looks forward to,
In the land of calm

A single angel standing
On a bridge across a stream

One Thing Remains

2011-10-13T18:33:00.000-07:00

Shelves
Of books --
Take a look,
They won't last long
They will soon be gone
The last one on the shelf
Neglected, gathering dust
While we attend to other things
Like journeys to other galaxies
After our planet is devoid of seas --

Or the silent presence of eternity

The 500 Haiku of the Carpenter: A Review

2011-10-03T08:07:00.000-07:00

The 500 Haiku of the Carpenter
By Peter Britell
ISBN: 9781460927359
$10.95

The distinctive feature of this book is how the author handles haiku lineation. The consensus among western haiku poets is that the haiku form consists of three short lines. For those taking a syllabic approach to haiku, the three lines are in 5-7-5 syllables, for a total of seventeen syllables. This mimics the syllabic structure of Japanese origin. Haiku poets who are strongly under the influence of contemporary free verse tend to abandon a specific count and consequently line count can vary among this type of free verse haiku. Free verse haiku has much more in common with western free verse than with the Japanese haiku.

‘The 500 Haiku of the Carpenter’ is a collection of 500 syllabic haiku. That is to say the haiku are written in 5-7-5, for an overall count of seventeen syllables. But the author takes the second line of seven syllables and using a unique approach to lineation, divides that line into sub-lines. Here is an example:

In the falling snow
     I saw the face
     of a girl –
she smiled your smile.

(Number 57)

Here the second line is divided into a 4 + 3 structure and both parts of the second line are indented. Here is another example of a 4 + 3 structure for the second line:

Full moon of July,
     sliding over
     silent pines –
we hear your music.

(Number 129)

Not all of the second lines are divided into a 4 + 3 structure. Some use a 3 + 4 division:

Ghost schooner, tonight
     I sail to
     moonbeams ending;
moon-wind fills my sails.

(Number 289)

Sometimes the author divides the second line into 5 + 2, as in one of my favorites:

Loud cherry blossoms
     on this still April
     morning –
I see temple bells.

(Number 388)

As you can see from these samples, most of the haiku in the book preserve the seasonal element of classic haiku. There are some haiku, though, that are non-seasonal:

An iced cold beer
     slowly guzzling down
     my throat –
hospital day dream.

(Number 385)

The author’s non-seasonal haiku tend to be introspective, though there are also some that are humorous:

Why do the children
     put beans in their ears?
     What place
is better for beans?

(Number 326)

This has a senryu quality to it.

Still, most of the haiku are specifically seasonal and the author seems to be consciously striving for a traditional haiku feel.

The division of the middle line mimics the Japanese, and East Asian, concerns with mid-line pauses. In traditional East Asian poetics, both five and seven syllable lines are supposed to have a pause a specified locations and it is part of the craft of Chinese and Japanese poetry to become skillful at placing those pauses in the right place. The pause is like a grammatical pause, or the pause one has when adding an aside. This is an aspect of East Asian poetics which has not been emphasized in the west because it is very difficult to map onto the English language. Yet here, Britell is doing exactly that with the way he is structuring the second line. The technique of lineation used in this book retains the overall syllable count found in the Japanese original, and at the same time offers a solution for the pause that traditional poetics asks for in the seven-syllable line. I think this is an elegant approach and it works well in the hands of this haiku poet. Here is the author speaking about haiku and how he feels about the form:

Hear the clear music
     in seventeen
     syllables –
wind chimes in short words.

(Number 328)

Having spent some time with this collection, I have an overall admiration for the author’s skill and unique voice. His haiku do indeed have a wind-chime like quality to them; by that I mean they are attractive not only to the mind, but also to the ear and the other senses. I also appreciate that the author feels free to use a wide variety of poetic techniques to enhance his haiku. Here is an explicit use of metaphor:

Without you, this house
     like an empty
     ship sailing
in a windless sea.

(Number 405)

There are haiku in this volume about work, love, aging, children, and, of course, the overall theme of the flow of the seasons permeates the work. The layout is regular; all the haiku begin with a capital and end with a period, emphasizing that this author’s approach is to express a complete thought, or present a complete picture, in the seventeen syllables of the traditional form. The regularity of the layout gives the collection a steady flow as one moves from one haiku to another. The author, I believe, has taken some care in the sequence of the haiku and although each haiku is complete and framed by the opening capital and the closing period, yet I found a sense of ease in the way the reader moves from one haiku to the next. It reminded me of well-crafted paragraph writing where the sentences easily link to each other.

This book seems to be an ongoing project. There is an earlier edition called ‘The 400 Haiku of the Carpenter’. Perhaps there will be more coming in the future. I look forward to that possibility.

In closing, here is another of my favorites:

Old age came walking
     down the snow-
     covered street –
“Keep walking,” I said.

(Number 472)

Recycling

2011-09-26T06:19:00.000-07:00

A tree swaying in the wind
In the middle of a field
A vulture pecks at a corpse
Partaking of a fine meal

Dreams End

2011-09-25T16:54:00.000-07:00

The lake of thunder
Rolling over the gossamer mountains
Dawn of night

Duskscape

2011-09-25T07:40:00.000-07:00

Thin clouds
Slow dusk
Moonrise
Stars hushed

Night Shift

2011-09-24T08:04:00.000-07:00

The janitor is finished
Cleaning up after others,
As the dawn dissolves the night
He disappears from our sight

Time and Season

2011-09-23T17:46:00.000-07:00

Summer heat
Autumn stalls
The ninth month
Dry leaves fall

Quaker Meeting

2011-08-29T07:31:00.000-07:00

Plain
Stark
Simple
Unadorned
Entering silence
Encountering the light within
The journey back to the source of endlessness begins

August Afternoon

2011-08-15T22:01:00.000-07:00

August afternoon
They say it will get hotter
For the next few days

He takes his sunglasses with him;
The parking lot has no shade

The local grocer,
Apples under the awning,
With grapes and peaches

Some bees looking for flowers
Hover over the sweetness

Groupies stampeding
As the stage door bursts open,
And paparazzi

Sorting all her appointments
On her brand new palm pilot

The bus boy gathers
The cafe patrons' dishes
And the meager tips

"Fall is my favourtie season,"
She informs her companion

Under the full moon
Lovers talk of where they'll be
Fifty years from now

Purple and blue irises
Blooming in his May garden

Clouds form in the sky
Whlie birds descend to the trees;
A gathering storm

The November spring thunder
Permeates the homes and streets

Journey

2011-08-07T12:25:00.000-07:00

Into the silent land I'll walk,
A tracker of the signs of love,
Into the land that leaves no trace,
There to be reborn from above

Tenuous

2011-08-05T18:12:00.000-07:00

Every time I leave my house
I wonder if I will return;
Impermanence has many forms,
A lesson that I've slowly learned.

On Contemplation

2011-07-31T15:50:00.000-07:00

Rocks are hovering in the sky
A riot takes place in silence
In a mirror that's made from wood
I see a hidden vein of good

Back to Blogging

2011-07-31T07:24:00.000-07:00

Good Friends:

I have been deeply involved in a writing project this month and this has minimized my presence here. However, that project is coming to a conclusion which will allow for more time here at Shaping Words. I appreciate the Followers who have signed onto this blog, more than I expected.

Now it's back to blogging here at Shaping Words.

Thanks for your patience,

Jim

Daydream

2011-07-30T18:17:00.000-07:00

Wind blowing the leaves of the trees
By the road streched across July
A tarot reader spreads her deck
While dolphins between the clouds glide

Litter

2011-07-07T12:48:00.000-07:00

The summer solstice sun is slowly set-
ting, as the shadows take on darker hues,
Tasks that I didn't get around to yet
Are transferred to my list of gotta-dos.

But I suspect I'll forget about them,
I don't mean for it to turn out that way,
But new days have their own demands and then
What seemed important yesterday just fades.

I found a letter that was discarded,
(I think it fell out of a truck of trash)
Reading it, my feelings were bombarded --
A fragment of a story now long past.

I decided not to throw it away;
Who knows, perhaps she'll want it back some day.

Surprised by Flowers

2011-06-29T11:27:00.000-07:00

Red geraniums
Next to the backdoor
In the alleyway
Behind the bookstore

Textual Criticism

2011-06-07T14:37:00.000-07:00

Today a young man said I was a nerd,
To be honest this took me by surprise,
I thought I was too old, but when I heard
His remark it struck me as kind of wise.

Nothing makes me happier than sitting
Among stacks of almost forgotten books,
Discovering why a phrase is fitting
Or how an author misquoted and took

A word, phrase, or sentence out of context,
Hoping that no one would ever notice,
Or take the time to track down the source text,
Revealing the reasoning as bogus.

Thoughts are like trails with many twists and turns,
Around that curve is something more to learn.

Blessing From the Past

2011-05-31T17:32:00.000-07:00

I remember a time of love,
It happened many years ago,
Angels crossed the face of the moon
As the quince blossomed in the snow

The Fountain of Age

2011-05-18T10:23:00.000-07:00

Beauty in the dawn
Beauty in the children's song
Beauty in the day
Beauty hidden in the way
Wisdom blossoms in old age

Beyond Thought

2011-05-15T16:34:00.001-07:00

Theologies are systems
Of thoughts that are human made,
They are insignificant,
Unlike God, they will soon fade

Some Days

2011-05-14T12:05:00.000-07:00

Clear
The Days
Afternoons
Of cloudless skies
Some days of our lives
Are also unhindered,
Days of easy wandering
Minus neurotic pondering
When the sun rises in the morning
Colors of the clouds slowly transforming

Homage to Emily

2011-05-13T10:16:00.000-07:00

'The world is not conclusion'
That is what the poet said --
The cosmos like a stream flows,
Like a feather in the wind

Swans

2011-04-28T15:51:00.000-07:00

The first crescent moon
Above the apple blossoms
An ocean of stars

Framed by the kitchen window
The woman with bright red hair

Saturday is free
Inspired by a good friend
Bread in the oven

He pauses to read the mail
There is a letter from mom

"No news is good news"
"A penny saved is a penny earned"
"A stitch in time saves nine"

At the University
A lecture on Folk Wisdom

As the bare branches
Bending in the freezing wind
In the prarie wind

Warmth seems to flow through the gloves
As they hold each other's hands

Walking to the park
Something they enjoy doing
As a weekend treat

Just as the sun has risen
Before the heat of the day

There is a slight breeze
The sound of the maple leaves
Resembles wind chimes

A flock of swans headed south
Smoothly coasting from cloud to cloud

Apple Blossoms

2011-04-18T08:07:00.000-07:00

Cool in the moring
A few leaves are still clinging
To a few branches

Is it Monday or Tuesday?
Days of retirement blend

Dry snowflakes falling,
Like white dust on the dry ground,
Scatter in the wind

As a stranger's car drives by
Exceeding the speed limit

While clucking her tongue
She disapproves of the way
Children act today

Opinions fill cyberspace
There's no time for calm or grace

A few grains of sand
Shifting at the river's edge
Ripple the surface

Sharp rays of intense sunlight
Sweat descends into the eyes

As she adds water
To her small garden fountain
In her small front yard

The shadow of her lover
Approaching with the full moon

Briefly the wind holds
The scent of apple blossoms,
The sound of an owl

"I knew you'd be here tonight."
Wave upon wave of silence

Untitled

2011-04-13T11:27:00.000-07:00

In the morning
We say goodbye to each other,
At night we return --
This routine is comfortable;
One day it will be different.

True Love

2011-04-11T15:31:00.000-07:00

I've fallen in love with eternity,
Though I don't remember exactly when
It happened many years ago to me,
Like a flower blossoming in a glen.

Eternity's presence is pure beauty
But its beauty is difficult to see;
Like a sunrise that remains neglected
Due to constant busyness and unease.

I can see it when I have rejected
Seductions from the world of constant change;
Saints and Sages have always suspected
It lies beyond this sorrowful world's range.

On the field of silence, there I have found
A stillness dancing on luminous ground.

Untitled

2011-03-30T10:22:00.000-07:00

There's not much traffic
At this time of the morning
While night still lingers
And the sun has not risen --
The hours of the morning calm

Antidote

2011-03-26T16:58:00.000-07:00

This morning I went on the internet
After a night of deep and restful sleep;
Checking the news only made me upset
As I felt the evening calm slowly creep

Away. I know the world's full of problems,
I do not need the news to tell me so,
It's as if the world is filled with goblins
Intent on mischief wherever they go.

After many years I now understand
That there's something simple that I can do;
Though silence and stillness may not seem grand
They bring mercy to all, not just a few.

A moment of silence is a moment of grace,
A moment of stillness is the kindness of space.

Haiku and High Timber: A Review

2011-03-13T16:33:00.000-07:00

Local Haiku: A Review of “Haiku and High Timber”

Poems for the Northwestern Heart

By Charles Walker

Illustrated by Victoria Seitzinger

ISBN: 9780982762707

One of the interesting things about contemporary poetry is the phenomenon of the ‘local poet’. A local poet is a poet who writes embedded in a particular locality, never achieves national recognition, but is often recognized by local organizations such as towns or counties. Where I live, in Sonoma County, Northern California, there is a County Poet Laureate. This local laureate will appear at the County Fair and other events. Often local poets write from the perspective of their own geography and habitat. The first haiku book I ever encountered was such a work, called “Alaska in Haiku”.

Charles Walker has written such a work. “Haiku and High Timber” is a collection of Haiku that is intimately about the Northwestern United States, specifically the area around Florence, Oregon. Walker’s introduction to Haiku is worth noting: “My experience with haiku grew out of my time in Japan as a member of the U.S. Army of Occupation, immediately after World War II. During my service there, I became acquainted with a few senior members of the leadership in Kyoto City and Shiga Prefecture. One of them, Dr. Motonori Matsuyama, a respected teacher and oceanographer, first introduced me to haiku.” Walker took to it and continued to write haiku for his whole life.

Walker takes a syllabic approach to haiku. Walker writes, “What is haiku? In English, and at its simplest, it is a three line verse of five, seven and five syllables that collectively express a complete thought.” This is a clear definition and one that leads to a formal approach to haiku in English. In addition to following the traditional syllabic count of 5-7-5, Walker also capitalizes the first letter of each line, which is the traditional approach of most English language poetry. In this respect Walker follows the lead of Richard Wright.

Walker organizes his haiku into the classical four seasons; that is to say there are four chapters, one for each of the four seasons. The illustrations, by Victoria Seitzinger, are a significant part of the book and many of the pages have a haibun feel to them, as the haiku (usually more than one) are arranged around the illustrations.

Walker’s approach to haiku is contemplative and thoughtful. Most of Walker’s haiku are in two parts; a natural setting followed by a comment, observation, generalization, or emotional reaction. Here are some examples:

Douglas fir needles

Carpeting the forest floor

Wooded cathedral

Line 3, ‘Wooded cathedral’, is Walker’s way of making a comment on the scene. Walker is telling us that he considers the scene to be in some sense holy.

Here is a similar one:

Life, death, life renewed

Fallen trees on forest floors

Sanctified silence

Again, the idea of ‘sanctified’ expresses Walker’s relationship to nature. There is a lot of information packed into this haiku. The way fallen trees act as nourishment for new trees is an observation that extends beyond a mere depiction of the scene.

Here’s one from his ‘Winter’ chapter:

Cold crystalline night

Stillness in all of nature

Icy purity

Notice how in all of these examples the third line gives us a kind of summation. Again there is the idea of nature as holy, this time with the word ‘purity’.

Here’s one from the ‘Summer’ chapter:

Sagebrush, sand and rock

Desert vastness overwhelms

Silent voices speak

Here Walker seems to have moved out of the forest into the eastern regions of Oregon. Again, Walker combines observation (Sagebrush, sand and rock) with his emotional reaction (overwhelms), topping it off with a contemplative summary (Silent voices speak). This kind of pattern makes Walker’s haiku thick with meaning, the result is that they bear rereading.

Walker is very concerned with the human destruction of nature and some of his haiku are focused on that theme:

Evergreen forests

Pristine, priceless, prime resource

Clear cut – for profit

Others seem to arise not so much from observation of nature, but rather from contemplating the meaning of the world we live in:

Planets exploding

Entire galaxies dying

A soft summer night

Interestingly, in this haiku it is line 3 which is the observation of nature while lines 1 and 2 are the contemplation, reversing his usual order.

For Walker the world of nature and the world of his internal emotions and the world of quiet contemplation, of introspective consideration, are porous to each other. Because they are porous to each other Walker is able to unite them seamlessly in his haiku. This gives Walker’s haiku a unique voice as they tend to be both descriptive and contemplative, about nature and about emotions; Walker’s haiku inhabit a both/and world.

There is one other aspect of this book that I would like to point out because I have not seen it before. Walker will use a line, usually with variations, repeatedly through the work. This technique creates resonances and echoes which I found pleasing. It’s kind of like a theme, or rhythmic unit, being used in different movements of a symphony, giving a sense of unity to the whole. For example:

Page 18: Autumn changes all

Page 29: Priorities change

Page 60: But change is coming

Page 62: What brings forth the change

Page 68: I sense deeper change

Page 78: Continual change

Page 87: Priorities change

Page 91: Priorities change

This kind of repetition with variation is done skillfully, so that the reader at first does not notice it. The example I picked is the most obvious one, but there are others that are more subtle. It is a kind of verbal braiding and I think it goes a long way to giving “Haiku and High Timber” a sense of unity that the reader absorbs intuitively.

If there is a weakness to Walker’s collection, I would say it is those few haiku which are too self-consciously allusive:

Seagulls on pilings

Where the fishing boats come in

Waiting for Godot

I find this too effortful and I doubt that younger readers will even know the reference Walker is trying to use. In addition, it is not at all clear how the scene in the haiku relates to the play referenced in line 3.

Fortunately, such slips are rare and do not appear to damage the forward momentum of the collection.

I think this is a worthwhile collection. It can teach a haiku poet how to integrate painting a scene with emotional reaction and/or contemplative comment in a way that the overall effect is a unity rather than an argument. It is a worthy addition to the corpus of syllabic English haiku.

In closing:

Still and silent dawn

The aroma of wood smoke

Other times and places

Facets of Morning

2011-03-12T15:46:00.000-08:00

Cold
Morning
The clear air
My morning walk
An overcast sky
I am free of questions
I'm feeling a sense of calm
Two horses in my neighbor's field
Blackbirds sitting on a distant fence
The last remnants of the night slowly fade
The first buds on the maple tree have appeared
I recall a friend I haven't seen in decades

Context

2011-03-06T17:04:00.000-08:00

There is a vast cosmos
Beyond the human realm,
Its presence is healing,
It's where we really dwell

Generosity

2011-03-05T10:59:00.000-08:00

At night there are many stars
Scattered across the heavens,
At such times I am amazed
That beauty's freely given

A Quietist Speaks

2011-03-04T18:08:00.000-08:00

Putting politics aside
The world is less constricted,
I'ts more open, like the sky,
And I feel less conflicted

Nightscape

2011-02-24T13:26:00.000-08:00

The frantic moon --
After waking from a nightmare,
The cold of my room

Night Walk

2011-02-23T12:38:00.000-08:00

Feral dogs snarling

Hidden behind the plum trees

The winter moonlight

Reconciliation

2011-02-17T09:53:00.000-08:00

Rain
Morning
In winter
Seasonal rain
Intermittent rain
On the roof and the ground
A soothing stochastic sound
Interrupted by gusts of wind
Which after a moment soon die down
Like an argument that has just ended
Or friends whose contention has now been mended,
A dispute whose reasons can no longer be found

Afternoon

2011-02-14T11:16:00.000-08:00

Penetrating cold

Some clouds in the afternoon

An airplane passes

Cars are coming and going

As the holidays draw near

Many people fear

Giving the incorrect gift,

Saying the wrong thing

"It's a misunderstanding,

I think this will lift your gloom."

They are in full bloom,

Cherry trees under the moon,

And a wind sung song

It doesn't take very long

To digitize what's been seen

January green,

A photoshoot in the lush

Overgrown garden

Across the street a few men

Shooting hoops, their weekend sport

Forget the report

Due on this Monday morning,

"I'll do it later."

Late at night is much better,

Distractions have disappeared

And now it is clear

As he looks into her eyes

That he has found love

While in the clear sky above

A flock of swans migrates south

Happy Etheree Day!

2011-02-13T08:41:00.000-08:00

Good Morning:

Today is Etheree Day, a day set aside for appreciation of the Etheree form of syllabic verse. I chose this day to celebrate the Etheree because it is the birthdate of Etheree Taylor Armstrong, the poet who first proposed this form sometime in the 1980's.

I have become enamored of this simple form. It is a ten-line form with the syllable count as follows: 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10. I have found that I enjoy the way it gradually opens up. I also like the way it concludes with a 10-syllable line, which is so strongly embedded in the English poetic tradition. The closing 10-syllable line often feels cadential in a rhythmic sense and has reverberations in much of traditional English poetry.

In honor of Etheree Day I thought I would take the time to review a book of Etheree poems by Carol Knepper. It is called "My World of Etherees".

If you want to know how Etheree are constructed I can't think of a better collection than this. Ms. Knepper has internalized the form and its dynamics in the way that sonnetteers sometimes internalize that form, so that the form becomes part of their consciousness. I get the impression that Ms. Knepper thinks in Etherees.

If you want to know the variations on the Etheree form that Etheree poets are developing I can't think of a better collection than this. Ms. Knepper has examples of the original form, which I noted above. She also has examples of the reverse Etheree (10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1), the double Etheree (both 10 to 1 and then 1 to 10, as well as 1 to 10 and then 10 to 1). She also has triple and quadruple Etheree and other variations. Ms. Knepper is playing with the form and the result is a reference volume for all these possible variations.

If there is a weakness in Ms. Knepper's collection I would say it has to do with lineation. At times I find the lineation arbitrary in the sense that she will sometimes end a line with a preposition or a conjunction or a verb that pulls us too quickly to the next line, weakning the sense of the unfolding of the form. Here is an example:

If
blood is
thicker than
water we might
wonder why at times
our closest friends are not
kin which perhaps is because

etc.

Almost every line in this particular Etheree has what I would think of as a weak ending. For example, I think "is thicker", "might wonder" and "not kin" naturally form units and when I write Etheree I tend to try to make the line ending more in sync with grammar. However, it neeeds to be pointed out that Ms. Knepper's approach to lineation is well within the standards of today's free verse, so others may not react in the way that I do. Also, I think that this weakness (if it is a weakness) does not fatally undermine the Etherees in which they appear.

Most of Ms. Knepper's Etherees are didactic; that is to say most of her Etherees express a point of view, offer an insight, or make a clear ethical point. Poetry has many purposes and didactic poetry has a long and rich history. The earliest example in the west I know of is Empedocles' philosophical poem where he presents his metaphysical views. Lucretius was another significant example of the didactic philosophical poem and his "On the Nature of Things" had a pervasive influence in the classical world.

My personal tendency is to compose descriptive poems, but some of my poems are didactic. The challenge of composing a didactic poem is to mould one's thoughts, or views, or opinions, within the formal constraints of the chosen form without sounding simplistic or preachy. Ms. Knepper manages to do this and the result is a thoughtful collection which tells us a lot about how Ms. Knepper views the world. She sounds like someone I would like to meet and have some discussions with regarding the issues of the day. Here's one of my favorite examples:

Time and Space: A Quadruple Etheree

Time
goes on
in its way
even when we
feel that it pauses
for we are tiny specks
in this wondrous universe
yet in self-conceit we believe
that the planets revolve around us
yet it may be comforting to perceive
the minor nature of our own struggles
that so occupy those days and nights
since indeed each human problem
is naught but a speck of dust
when placed in perspective
hence helping us view
problems as less
momentous
in this
light

The Etheree continues for two more cycles. This is a really skillfully done work. Here the lineation is assured and clear. In addition, she sometimes will use rhyme to clarify lineation; note the "believe" and "perceive". Also note the three lines ending "less, momentous, this"; the repetitive "s" sound is used very effectively to define the lines at this point in the Etheree.

Not all of her Etherees are didactic. Some are seasonal and in these Ms. Knepper demonstrates that Etherees can illuminate classical nature topics as well. There is a series of four Etherees on each of the four seasons where each Etheree begins with the words "I love the . . .". They are all reverse Etheree, beginning with a 10 syllable line. They are wonderful evocations of the seasons.

So well done Ms. Knepper! And for those interested in Etheree I highly recommend this volume. The ISBN is 9780978231880. It is available from http://www.lulu.com/.

Flow of Grace

2011-01-29T18:53:00.000-08:00

The silent morning;
The sound of the rising sun
In the winter air

While eating a quick breakfast
He wanders through cyberspace

There is just a trace
Left of the first settlement
In the field of wheat

She walks away, she retreats
From the family gathering

As the moon, singing
In the crisp October air,
Disples the darkness

The Matins Psalms as witness
To the endless flow of grace

He longs for the face
Of one who has departed
Many years ago

"All's impermanent," I know
This truth as a comforter

The Russian River,
Keeper of the tides of time,
Like a melody

The blossoms of the plum tree
Open in the gentle wind

"I think we should end
This quarrel we have had.
Life is very short."

Though she thought of a quick retort
It no longer felt important.

Picky

2011-01-22T13:47:00.000-08:00

Here's a light verse Tanka, penned on the occasion of Syllabic Tanka Day. Those who have worked in retail will, I think, like it:

He wants a latte
With soy milk, not too much foam
With room at the top
For some cinnamon sprinkles . . .
The barrista's face wrinkles

English Syllabic Tanka Day

2011-01-22T11:15:00.000-08:00

Greetings:

Today is Syllabic Tanka Day. More precisely, it is English Syllabic Tanka Day. It is a day set aside to celebrate Tanka, written in English that follows the syllabic pattern of 5-7-5-7-7.

For nearly 1,400 years Japanese poets have found the form of Tanka congenial for poetic expression. This makes Tanka one of the oldest continuously written syllabic forms in the world. In addition, Tanka is the root of all other currently written forms of Japanese poetry, including Renga and Haiku.

Tanka came to the U.S. late. People began writing Tanka only in the later half of the 20th century. My sense is that it has yet to take root; it is still a form whose potential in English is being explored. My observation has been that the defining form, the 5-7-5-7-7, is not yet secure among Tanka poets in English.

Which makes this day all the more worthwhile celebrating. Take some time to read some English language formal Tanka that is based on the centuries old syllabics of 5-7-5-7-7; perhaps some of Neal Lawrence's Tanka are worth reading today, or the Tanka found in "The Calligraphy of Clouds" by Yeshaya Rotbard.

Better yet, compose some syllabic Tanka on your own. It is a rich form, possessing a deeply musical quality. I think you will find it eminently satisfying and when you do write syllabic Tanka you will join in with some of the most celebrated poets in Japanese history.

Enjoy Syllabic Tanka Day!

Jim

The Intention of the Author: Part 2

2011-01-21T11:17:00.000-08:00

To fill out what I mentioned in Part 1, I'd like to give some theoretical examples that would mimic what happened to Emily Dickinson's poetry. I like syllabic poetry and I have a special fondness for syllabic quatrains. Syllabic quatrains have a regular line; that is to say that all the lines of the quatrains have the same number of syllables.

Suppose I were to take Walt Whitman's poems and reshape them in accordance with my personal likes. I mean suppose I made all of Whitman's lines regular, and, for good measure, tossed in some strong end rhymes.

I think most people would see this as undermining Whitman's intention as an author. At best I think my rewrite could be viewed as 'poems inspired by Whitman', but I think it would be a mistake to think of them as Whitman's poems.

In a previous post I spoke about taking Shakespeare's Sonnets and reworking them in accord with modern free verse norms. In other words, Shakespeare's Sonnets would be transformed into lines of irregular length, end-rhymes would be removed, metaphors translated or eliminated. Again, I think most people would be able to see this as undermining Shakespeare's intention. Again, at best these rewrites might be considered 'poems inspired by Shakespeare's Sonnets', but it would be a mistake to think of them as the actual Sonnets of Shakespeare.

What I'd like to suggest is that the same logic can be applied to translation. I mean that the intention of the author should be primary and to the degree that it is possible, the intention of the author, the poet, should be manifest and visible in the language into which the poems are translated.

What has happened, however, is that the intention of the author is often ignored and what is offered instead are a version of the original that bears no formal relationship to the original. Here is an example of what I mean: traditional Chinese poetry is syllabic, formal, and uses end rhyme. Traditional Chinese poetry is not free verse. Yet the way Chinese poetry has been translated into English leaves the English speaking public with the strong impression that Chinese poetry, even ancient or traditional Chinese poetry, is a type of free verse and that it closely resembles modern free verse norms. I'd like to suggest that this situation could only come about by ignoring the intention of the author and imposing on the poem an esthetic which is alien to the author's intention, thereby denying the reader access to a representation of what the author actually wrote.

Untitled

2011-01-15T09:59:00.000-08:00

Waves roll in from the ocean,
How long will the ocean last?
How long will clouds grace the sky?
Endlessness is hard to grasp.

The Intention of the Author -- Part 1

2011-01-14T16:09:00.000-08:00

When Emily Dickinson died in 1886 her close relatives entered her house and eventually her private room where she wrote poetry. This was a small room upstairs. It had a small desk in front of a window and it was at this desk (really just a small table) where, evidently, she wrote her poems.

They discovered thousands of poems separated into neatly bundled packets, tied together with ribbons. This took everyone by surprise. Although Dickinson's interest in poetry was known, and she had published a few poems decades before, and although her letters often contained poetry, she kept this collection hidden away.

Her relatives recognized the high quality of the poems and set about getting them published. They faced one difficulty. Emily's poems were, in some ways, eccentric by the standards of the time. Her sense of rhyme was quirky, her rhythms sometimes awkward in the sense that one line of a poem might have a few extra, or a few too few, beats.

So her family set about editing the poems. Smoothing out the rhythm and reworking the rhymes so that the rhymes were all 'pure' and slant rhymes were removed as much as possible. The intent was generous; they wanted to get Emily's poetry out into the world.

For many decades the Emily Dickinson people read and knew was this edited version. It was only in 1955 that the poems were published as Dickinson had written them, with all their irregularities retained, including sometimes eccentric spelling.

Today people prefer to read the version that Dickinson wrote.

Why?

This isn't obvious. Some of the edited versions are good poetry, are memorable and, I think, would receive good comments at a contemporary poetry seminar. It's not that the edited versions are terrible or lacking in any value. People enjoyed and admired the edited versions for many decades.

What is critical, I think, is that the version we read today reflects Dickinson's intention. That is to say the poems we read today are the poems she intended to write. The earlier versions are interpretations, or commentaries, on Dickinson's poems. The earlier versions stand between us and Dickinson, blocking our access to what she actually wrote. I think it is for this reason that today we prefer to read the unedited version rather than the sometimes more polished versions that were first published, but did not reflect Dickinson's unique voice.

This is the first post in a series about the intention of the author and translation, and how this has effected the access that we have to foreign-language poetry, particularly that of China and Japan. As I progress in this series I would like the reader to keep this example of Dickinson's poetry in mind. I'm going to use it as a template, or a measure, regarding a cluster of issues that center on translation.

Come What May

2011-01-14T16:02:00.000-08:00

At the coffee shop,
"I've a confession to make . . ." --
The winter storm's stopped.

Greetings for 2011

2011-01-13T13:32:00.001-08:00

Good Friends:

I've been absent from this blog for a bit. First it was the holiday rush at work my dayjob. Then my access to the net ran into some problems. And after the holidays I experienced a kind of post-holiday crash and I didn't want to do much. Just sort of taking a rest seemed in order.

But two to three weeks is enough of that!!

Here's wishing you all a prosperous and poetry filled 2011.

Best wishes,

Jim

January Morning

2011-01-13T13:30:00.000-08:00

The oak tree's branches
Shrouded in the winter fog --
Last night's dreams

Streams of Time

2010-12-17T10:05:00.000-08:00

It has been slate gray the whole day from the time I woke up until late afternoon,
I find it difficult to distinguish the time without some signals from the sun,
Events used to proceed in strict order, one after the other, when I was young,
Now all my days intermingle like many streams merging in a forest lagoon.

Morning Contemplation

2010-12-11T10:14:00.000-08:00

The morning mist at the beginning of winter possesses a life of its own,
As the shapes drift and twist through the branches of the broad maple tree in the garden,
Sometimes they hide and sometimes they reveal that the leaves have suddenly turned to gold --
I sit on the couch wrapped in a blanket in the house which still holds the evening cold.

Rainscape Moment

2010-12-10T18:42:00.000-08:00

The rain's been falling for many days and nights in the season of early winter,
It's been falling off and on, not constantly, so the streets have not become rivers,
The tips of the needles of the deodar tree hold a drop of rain that shimmers,
A gust of wind and all the drops fall and suddenly the whole world appears dimmer.