The morning birds were singing in stochastic cacaphony,
Maybe it was divine counterpoint, a cosmic symphony --
Somehow, all is calm from the perspective of eternity.
I also find sijo a difficult form. It is a challenge to compose a long line that doesn't collapse into smaller units.
Regarding the rhyme; I find in long line forms that end rhyme works for defining a line if that rhyme does not appear elsewhere in the line. In other words, the particular sound of the rhyme needs also to be absent from the rest of the poem; then the end rhyme has a stronger effect.
2 comments:
Never occurred to me to use rhyme in Sijo but it works here. The Sijo is not an easy form to render as poetry (much less syllabic poetry) in English.
I also find sijo a difficult form. It is a challenge to compose a long line that doesn't collapse into smaller units.
Regarding the rhyme; I find in long line forms that end rhyme works for defining a line if that rhyme does not appear elsewhere in the line. In other words, the particular sound of the rhyme needs also to be absent from the rest of the poem; then the end rhyme has a stronger effect.
Jim
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