The Very Short Line

The Very Short Line

One aspect of modern English syllabic verse that I find both attractive and challenging is the emergence of the very short line. I think this started with Adelaide Crapsey and her Cinquain (in general Crapsey’s influence on English syllabic verse is pervasive). The first and last lines of the Cinquain are only two syllables long. At the time that Crapsey put forth the Cinquain I don’t think there was any other form that had so constricted a line.

Since the Cinquain other syllabic forms have also used the very short line. The Lanterne, Etheree, Fibonacci, and Tetractys all begin with lines of one syllable. All of these forms then proceed to a second line of two syllables, with the exception of the Fibonacci where the second line is also one syllable, followed by a line three of two syllables. This adds to the constricted nature of the openings of these forms. The Cinquain, Prime, Rictameter, and 100 Friends all start with a two syllable lines. For the purposes of this discussion I define as “very short” a line of three syllables or less.

The emergence of the very short line is something new in syllabic verse. Traditional syllabic poetry, like that of China, Japan, and France, do not use such a highly constricted count in their traditional verse. As far as I can determine, the very short line is a twentieth century phenomenon.

The very short line presents significant challenges to the poet. First, the very short line drastically shrinks the available words. In this context I think it is significant that Crapsey did a statistical analysis of the percentage of single syllable words in epic poetry. This allowed her to have clarity about the implications of having an opening line in her Cinquain of only two syllables. The one syllable line shrinks the available vocabulary even more. The difficulty with the very short line lies in writing a line that actually feels like a line; meaning a line that has a certain coherence and integrity. It is easy for the reader to attach a very short line to the next line and thereby form a larger unit. When this is done, though, the particular shape, rhythm, and pulse of the form is undermined, often lost altogether.

Here are a few observations about the very short line, based on my own experience using the various syllabic forms that require such a line:

1. I have noticed a tendency among some poets, particularly when they first start out with one of these forms, to use an article (“the” or “a”) for the one syllable line. My observation is that this does not work. As a reader, it is almost impossible not to attach the article to the following word in line two. This means that the sense of a one syllable line is lost. Ray Stebbing, the British poet who created the Tetractys, which starts with an opening line of one syllable, recognized this and in his prosody on the form suggests not using them. I also think there is almost as strong a tendency to dissolve the sense of a line when the single word is a preposition such as “on”, or “in”, etc. Again, the tendency is for the reader to attach the preposition to the next line and lose the feeling that the one syllable line is an actual line. Modifiers are a grayer area; sometimes they work and sometimes they also pull the reader too quickly and strongly to the next line. Nouns seem to be the type of word most congenial to this kind of formal arrangement; that is to say nouns make a kind of statement, or suggest a picture, by themselves. Words like “hill”, or “beach”, or “wind”, are capable of standing by themselves and give the reader a sense of an actual line.

2. The very short line gives a lot of weight to a limited number of words. The words of the very short line, therefore, have individual significance over and above words that appear in lines of normal length. One can see this strikingly in the Tetractys with its five-line syllabic form of 1-2-3-4-10. The last line has ten syllables, the first line has one, and the second line two. If one looks at each line as significant, the single word of the first line needs to carry the same significance and depth of meaning as the last line of ten syllables. A ten syllable line might consist of several words, up to ten single-syllable words.

One can also see this in the Crapsey Cinquain with its five-line syllable count of 2-4-6-8-2. The first and last lines need to have the same significance as the fourth line of eight syllables. The fourth line could be up to eight single-syllable words.

3. In Chinese Quatrains each line has the same number of words, because Chinese is monosyllabic, and each line carries the same significance because all the lines are the same length. In the Japanese Tanka the line lengths change, but in comparison the change is subtle; from five syllables to seven syllables. The difference between five and seven syllables is not as great as the different between one and ten syllables, or between two and eight syllables.

Thus this area of the very short line in syllabic verse is unexplored and how it will ultimately work is still an open question.

4. One technique I’ve noticed, and used myself, for a very short line is to use the line as a way of building up an image. Here’s an example of what I mean:

Hills
Low hills
Shaded hills
Under spring clouds
Hawks

This is a Lanterne. The first three lines repeat the word “hills”, gradually adding information about the hills. Line 1 is simply the noun. Line 2 adds that the hills are “low”, in other words they aren’t cliffs or mountains and the reader will think of something like rolling hills. Line 3 adds “shaded” to the picture, expanding the image to include what the sky is doing.

I think this kind of approach that gradually builds up the image for the reader is an effective way of using the very short line. Here’s another example:

The moon
The autumn moon
Libra
The waxing moon
A few days short of full . . .

These are the opening five lines of a 100 Friends form; the first five lines have the syllable count of 2-4-2-4-6, containing two very short lines, Lines 1 and 3. The technique of building up the image is used here in the same way as in the previous Lanterne. Line 1 is simply a noun plus an article. Line 2 adds the season. Line 3 narrows the timing down further to the astrological time of Libra, which also implies a northern hemisphere location because the season is autumn; Libra in the southern hemisphere would be spring. Line 4 tells us another detail about the moon; it’s waxing. And Line 5 tells us it is near to full, giving us more detail.

That’s the basic procedure; to start with a general noun and then gradually add details to the description. I think it has the effect of drawing the reader into the scene. Here are three examples from a form called “Prime”:

Morning
On Sunday . . .


Mountains
At sunset . . .


Blossoms
Of the plum


The syllable count of the Prime is 2-3-5-7-11, so the first two lines are very short lines. In each of the three examples given the first lines are general nouns, followed by second lines that give more specific information.

5. I’d like to note, again, that the very short line is a challenge to the poet. When writing a very short line, read it out loud and then pause after the line. See if the very short line holds together in the air and in your heart and mind. If it does, then the very short line will maintain a sense of being an actual line. If it doesn’t hold together, that could be a signal to try another approach.

6. The very short line is difficult to write well, but when it is done well the very short line feels like a door swinging open, inviting the reader to come in and enjoy the rest of the poem.