Saturday, June 26, 2010

Lost In Cyberspace

Version 1

Desk
Keyboard
Computer
Appointment book
A few unpaid bills
Which I ignore for the thrill
Of clicking on a new link,
Of launching into cyberspace,
Before I know it or what to think
The sun has set, there are stars in the sky


Version 2

Desk
Keyboard
Computer
Appointment book
A few unpaid bills
Which I ignore for the thrill
Of clicking on a new link,
Of launching into cyberspace,
Before I know it hours have passed by,
I turn to the window and the night sky

2 comments:

Dan Gurney said...

My favorite form!

I prefer Version 1 because of the extra rhyme and because there's a little more of nature in that final line to serve as contrast to the mediated world of cyberspace.

Nice!

Jim714 said...

Hi Dan:

So the Etheree has become your favorite! Great, I hope to see more Etheree on your blogs. I've become fond of it. At 55 syllables it's long enough to express a complete thought or depict a complete setting. I also have come to enjoy the simplicity of its structure and the way it unfolds.

I think I agree with you about Version 1.

Thanks,

Jim